The Secret to Being THE Perfect Mom

The Secret to being the perfect mom

When I was expecting my first child I read way too many parenting books that made me feel like a failure before my daughter even entered the world. Did you ever feel this way?

To me, the ideals set in them were so daunting and in my mind, not based in reality. I couldn’t keep up that negative feeling, so I quit reading them. I decided that I just wasn’t going to measure myself to the standards in any book and I haven’t picked up a parenting book since then.

That’s not to say that I haven’t needed one!! It’s just that I have learned that my kids, our life, our parenting style, and even our tolerance and patience levels are unique to us and THAT cannot be found in any book.

I am learning how to be a mom by watching other moms, reading short articles like this when I need a pick-me-up, and by making my own mistakes.

But guess what?

My very best teachers have been my own kids!

They tell me who they need me to be. My three kids shine a light on what they need to succeed. They reveal who they are and in turn, I can reciprocate. I shower them with love for who they are and don’t expect them to be anybody else. We respect them for the human beings they are and because of that, they feel valued.

secret to being the perfect mom

Now, I am not a parenting expert, my oldest is only eleven so I recognize that I have many tough years ahead of me, but I feel okay about that because of what I am about to tell you.

I am going to let you in on another secret, the secret to being THE perfect mom.

Are you ready for it?

There is no such thing as a perfect mom! There, I said it!!  It is a fantasy that doesn’t actually exist. Forget the books, the movies, dreams of being June Cleaver or better yet Shelley Long’s character, Phyllis Nefler, from Troop Beverly Hills and just throw out all those ideals!

You are already a perfect mom. You are exactly who your child or children need you to be. So, stop doubting yourself and just show up. Be the best you can be for them right now. Pay attention to them. Listen to them. Laugh with them. Play with them. Grow with them. Love them.

They already know you are perfect. Listen to the experts staring up at you.


There are no happy accidents.

Check out more of my writing on my personal blog, on Pinterest: @NoHappyAccident, on Facebook @NoHappyAccidents, Instagram: @nohappyaccidents_kim, and on Twitter: @nohappyaccident or @barefoot79

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Leave A Reply (2 comments so far)

  1. Shannon Watanuki
    10 months ago

    Kim- this is so true! I remind myself often that I am the perfect mom for my kids because God chose me for the job! I mess up more than I’d like, but I always give it my all and take cues from my boys. Thanks for the vote of confidence!

  2. Ophalyn Lee
    9 months ago

    Love your blog:) This post is great too:)

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