Uncontrollable crying with our daughter!

By: Francielle Daly 

My 7 year old daughter has been coming home and then BAM she’s in tears! Of course I go to something is wrong, something happened to her. And then she tells me nothing is wrong, I just miss so and so. I mean really you were just with this person and now you miss them like they are not ever coming back! I mean it was getting to the point where she would go to anyone’s house come home and she would be so sad and crying and crying! It was driving us crazy!

Little-Baby-Girl-Crying-540x337I was at the point of crying, myself, yelling at her, and telling her to stop acting like a baby. I just couldn’t take it. I really thought, Great another error in my parenting. I also thought maybe there was jealousy between her and her new baby sister. I started to question my connection and attention to her when I was with Genesis. I mean I just kept assuming and making things up! After weeks of this going on I finally reached out to Bill Stierle. He’s been helping me with my parenting since my daughter was 4.

I scheduled a call and told him everything that was going on, he listened and then he gave me solutions! He said that she was simply building greater deals of connections with these people. For example, my mother, When she would come home she would be in tears to the point where she was breathing so hard that she couldn’t breath anymore crying. What I needed to do was not yell or accuse her of not being a big girl but simply empathize with her, practice mourning with her. Losses are going to happen in her life and then there is reconnection that will happen again. It was practicing lose and reconnection with her! OK OK trust me my initial reaction to all this stuff in the beginning was, speaking to your child in this way makes no darn sense! I mean how can this even work! It’s not about learning a new language it’s about putting these words together so connections happens! When I understood this and the process in my wording then, yes then, my child’s reaction was different! And this stuff doesn’t happen overnight but it does get better over time and YES practice is the key!

parentingSo, I had to tell my daughter that I see she felt sad about leaving grandma’s house, and I needed to ask her about all the fun things she did at grandmas. As I started to ask her these questions, her eyes, body language started to open up and she calmed down, she started to see that she was able to go back to grandmas house and be with her again but at this time she needed to be home with me. The more questions about could you be feeling this way and tell me more about the fun things you do with grandma allowed her to see I was empathizing with her. The final phase to my conversation was let me see if we can see grandma soon again. She cried a little after but what was different this time around she never cried to the point where she couldn’t breath and she then started telling me all about what she wanted to do in this summer.

I felt like I had my daughter back in that instant!

The point of me sharing all of this with you is, hey as parents things are going to come up, and sometimes we won’t know what to do, who do you have on your team to help you sort these things out. What resources do you have to help you get thru these phases and stages! I’m happy that I found Bill Stierle and that I have the ability to have him as my parenting expert. AND I get to provide you all with him as one of our Parenting panelist! I’m going to share the recording to our latest Tantrum Webinar below. I asked a lot of questions that were provided by our mommy community. We also have a parenting boot camp coming up. It’s times like above that the parenting boot camp allows you to ask your questions, concerns, and most importantly have real live situations happening around you so you can get those tools to help you when they happen to you!

Click here for the latest recording of our Parenting Webinar:

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Leave A Reply (1 comment so far)

  1. Marcielle
    3 years ago

    Thanks for much for sharing this struggle you are having. I too am having struggles with my son spontaneously crying because he misses someone (mostly my husband) since my daughter has been around. I feel hurt and upset with myself when I lose my temper at my son. I try to remind myself that he is only four and that yelling at him about his emotions doesn’t help him nor me and that it mostly teaches him that his emotions are not valid. I feel that your post may help us at home. Thanks again.

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