Each Mothers Journey is Unique!

By: Blog Director- Cristina Coreas 

I remember the first time I learned I was going to be a mother and how overwhelmed I felt at the thought of being in charge of someone else’s life.  You would think after being a teacher for about 8 years at that time I would be used to the feeling of being able to see myself as a life changer and a person that helps to impact our future everyday. Not only that I had a stable job, a home, and a positive family life.

However, this time it was different.  

I remember thinking this was a completely helpless human being that would have to depend solely on her dad and me and any decisions we made for her would impact her life. Whether they are positive or negative decisions, we would be in complete control of her life and its outcomes. (At least until she learned to talk back to us!)

Although a part of me felt blessed to be given the opportunity to become a mother, I have to admit that most of my being was filled with overwhelming thoughts and anxiety.   At 29 years old, being a grown woman, I was still thinking I’m not sure I do a good job of taking care of myself and now I have to be a permanent role model to someone else?  I make too many mistakes and my life is full of bumps in the road, how am I going to be a mother?  I have so many things I have to fix about myself before I can be a mother to someone else.

Yet the truth of the matter is, no one is ever 100% ready to take on the role of being a parent.  Some of you are probably thinking, I could have told you that! However, even though we know that we aren’t perfect and never will be, there is this unrealistic expectation we set on ourselves to become this perfect being for our child and when things don’t go exactly as we expected them to, we suddenly find ourselves falling into this pit of anxiety, stress, and overwhelming thoughts, questioning who we are as women and as mothers.

I find this to be especially true when we look at other mothers and think; wow she has it so together.  Why can’t I be like that? How can I get my child to act like hers?  She always seems so on top of things and I can barely remember if I changed my socks!  I have fallen into this pit of comparison and I am sure at one point or another if you are a woman it has happened to you as well.

We quickly forget that we are not with those moms 24/7 and nine times out of ten that child you saw behaving like a perfect angel probably already had his nap, was well fed, and 15 minutes prior to meeting with your girlfriend he had his outburst of full on tantrum on his way out the door.  And as far as that well put together mom… well… I can reassure you that her house is not always immaculate, she probably loses her cool with her kid once in a while, and she also forgets things she has to do as well.  It happens to all of us and no matter how many times we may be reassured it has happened to all of us we continually beat ourselves up for not being good enough.

My goal on this journey of motherhood is to remind myself as well as you that we are good enough, because it doesn’t matter if you read one mommy book or 10 mommy books before and after your child was born, each mothers journey is unique and comes with different challenges and it is how we decide to handle those challenges for ourselves and our children that make us the mommies we are today.  I want you to face this journey of mother hood with confidence, self assurance and security with yourself because once you and I start believing we are the best as individual women we will also become the best moms for our children.

 

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