Let’s talk about sex….


sandra with hubby

Most days I lay in my bed exhausted and thinking about 100 things to add to my to do list. My body is drained, my brain is fried, and my husband is laying right next to me feeling the same way. How in the world are we going to be intimate? We have a 5 yr old and 3 yr old. You guys can imagine what our days consist of cooking, cleaning, laundry, car pools, karate..oh and did I mention we both have a full time jobs?  Crazy!

I’m not gonna lie, weeks can go by and my husband and I, have not had any intimacy. When we had our first child it was very crazy trying to balance everything including sex. Hello, I just had a baby didn’t feel really sexy or wanted sex. Nothing against my husband he didn’t do anything wrong, it was just my hormones and lack of sleep. Now, the kids are a little older but we are still exhausted. How do we make it work?

Well, sometimes  I just remind myself that my husband needs to feel his wife intimately. Life isn’t perfect and I may not be feeling sexy or in the mood but he is my husband and I made a commitment to him the day we got married that I would be there for him in any way shape or form.

I also want to mention that I haven’t been feeling really good about my body. I don’t think Im fat. I just was not happy with the way my clothes were fitting. It’s not cool to break a sweat when you are getting dressed, or have that muffin top.  We went on vacation in July and my bathing suits didn’t look flattering at all. I hated the way I looked in all the pictures, I just didn’t look or feel healthy.  I had to look at myself and be honest. I was eating  a little too much and the summer cocktails weren’t helping either. My body image was affecting my intimacy with my husband.

Three weeks ago, I promised myself that I would get my lazy butt in the gym and get in shape. My #1 excuse has always been “I’m tired, I don’t have time!” well, thats a lie. I was tired because I was going to bed late watching the real housewives of something or whatever.. and I do have time at 5am! It’s so hard to deny the truth when its staring right back at you.

I have a lot of friends including my neighbor and her twin sister that are in amazing shape. Have similar lifestyles as me and they go to the gym. They work out. They take care of their bodies. What was my excuse? What really set me over the edge was the lack of respect I had for my body. I’m 37 years old, a wife, and mother. If I don’t start now when will I start taking care of this body that is key to my existence? When? When I gain another 30 lbs in 20 yrs? When I get diagnosed with diabetes or high blood pressure? The weight is going up if I don’t do something about it NOW!


So I did. Here I am 3 weeks later. I truly feel great. It’s more than just loosing weight. Its the satisfaction that I have every day knowing that I love myself enough to take care of my body. I do want to look and feel young well into my 90’s. Why not? However, the work needs to start now.

I wake up at 4:30 am Monday- Saturday go to the gym for an hour and feel so freaking awesome afterwards. I’m setting a great example for myself, my husband, and my children. If you are reading this and you know deep inside that you should be getting in shape… GO DO IT!

I want to hear from you. Let’s share our journey together. This has had an overall positive effect on my life and marriage. My husband loves me. I want to make sure that I keep him excited about me and I want to feel sexy. When we met I was confident and secure with my body. I want that again. It’s coming back and feels amazing.

The key is to find a work out that you resonate with. In my case it was Orange Theory. They are an awesome gym and their work out is an hour, for anyone. From your first timer to full blown athlete. It’s amazing! If you like hiking do that. Yoga, do that. Walking do that..

Just do something. Anything. get up and move!

With Love,

Sandra Pascal

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