The Future Made Me Want To Be A Mom

Alright, I admit it. I wasn’t always sure I wanted to be a mom. As the youngest in my family, I didn’t see little ones much, and I didn’t feel connected to babies or children – not even after marriage.

It wasn’t until I was 30 that I met friends who were in their 50s and 60s who talked lovingly of their teens and young adult children. After hearing these stories, the light bulb went off and I decided I didn’t want to grow old without a family. I wanted to know that my later years would be filled with great memories of my children when they were little ones, “entertaining” stories of their teen years and ultimately adult children as companions.

That was my motivation for starting a family. So through the grace of God, we were able to have kids. I remember vividly when my now teenagers were little ones. We had many days just playing at home or going on little outings. I often thought, “These are golden days.” I recall vividly the expressions they used, and cute things they did. I wrote these down, and I took plenty of pictures and videos.

Life is very different now with my kids – I have an almost 16-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son. I do miss the little ones they used to be – those babies and toddlers in the pictures are almost like little ghosts to me – I will never again get to see or hold those little ones – so parents of young ones, I say to you, hold on tight!

But what I DO see is a young woman that I can now talk to about many things because she’s growing up.

And a son who understands and appreciates music, jokes and interests that a baby boy couldn’t.

motherunloadI recently watched a movie called “Practical Magic” with my daughter (appropriate for this Halloween time of year!). It’s a total chick-flick, and she’s just old enough to really enjoy it. It’s from the early ’90s, and while it’s not Oscar-winning material, it’s beautifully shot – the house in it is lovely, the town charming and the colors and images very pretty. The story focuses on the connection that is formed in female relationships: love, power, bonding, and strength, as well as what it means to find real, lasting romantic love. She watched a bit of it a couple of years ago, but couldn’t relate to it. Now, she has more life experiences under her belt. We lazed on the couch together on a cool fall night, and it was like watching it with one of my girlfriends.

Although my father passed away long before my son ever got to meet him, my son loves so many things my father enjoyed, and I love experiencing these things with him. Through Indian Guides, Boy Scouts, and sports camps, he has developed a love for many things my Dad liked: target shooting with rifles and pistols as well as archery. Just like my Dad, he likes to go look at collector knives at the tourist shops. He loves sports cars and respects the military. And also like my Dad, he enjoys most every sport. He loves listening to rock and roll and playing bass guitar and percussion (rock music = all me!). And most like my Dad, he is a boy with a big, loving heart.

I’m blessed because I know that when one stage of parenting ends, a new and exciting one comes in its place. And I still think to myself “These are golden days.”

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Leave A Reply (3 comments so far)

  1. Maria Morgan
    1 year ago

    Colleen, you are such a natural when it comes to parenting and writing!

    • Francielle
      1 year ago

      Thanks for your comment, she is great!!

  2. Tess Zigo
    1 year ago

    Love the article…and I love that movie-Practical Magic, I must have seen it over a dozen times :)

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