What common phrases do you use in your home?

In many homes, there are common phrases that we might use:

“Go ask your father”  

“You have until I count to three – 1….2….3”

“You better stop that crying or I’ll give you a reason to cry”

Now these are all phrases that we obviously use with children. However, there is one phrase that I have heard often in my life and I can’t help but think how it can destroy a family without notice.GLC (2)

“If mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy”

It’s never used in reference to fathers or children, sometimes used for grandmothers, but always used for mothers. It’s a phrase we use towards mothers when making excuses to buy items to quell their bad attitudes towards someone or something, or to guilt others into doing something.

Has anyone actually ever sat back and actually observed the selfishness of this phrase? I mean really just pondered on it? I have for weeks now- since my last post actually. I’ve been thinking how this phrase isn’t used in my home because, honestly, it offends me. Who am I to say no one else can be joyful or happy because I’m having a bad day? Do we let our children ruin everyone else’s good time because they had a bad day at school? Or because they woke up on the wrong side of the bed? I know I don’t.

In our home, just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t mean that everyone else should join your pity party. Why is it that in households worldwide, this phrase is thrown around so freely and moms are okay with it?!  Why is it okay for moms to get this free ride to be tyrants in our own homes?

To be totally honest, it’s not!  It is not okay for me to want something as a gift and use this phrase as leverage to get my way. My precious family shouldn’t feel like they have to walk on eggshells because of my bad attitude! If I’m unhappy because I didn’t do the previous night’s dishes and it puts me in a bad mood, that doesn’t give me the right to ruin my husband’s day when he gets home from work.  

What kind of example does this set for our children? That it’s okay to manipulate other people to get what we want? Or that it’s okay to let our emotions run our homes? That is not setting a Christ-like example for our children!

The Bible is very clear on how a woman should run her home, raise her children, and act towards her husband. This is definitely not the depiction of a Godly woman. Proverbs 31 clearly lays out how a wife and mother should live:

Proverbs 31: 26 (KJV)

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

Proverbs 31: 28 (KJV)

“Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

These two verses teach us that a Godly woman has wisdom and her tongue is bridled to kindness. Her children call her blessed and her husband praises her. Nowhere does it say that we have free reign to use our emotions to manipulate our families.

Keep these things in mind throughout your week. I encourage you to apply them to your daily life and see what kind of an impact they can make in your home!

~Samantha Martinez


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