5 tips so you do not Let parenting Ruin Your Relationship.

By: Chana Roberts

Life used to be simple. You went to work, came home, and spent time with each other. You went to sleep when you wanted to, and slept through the night. Now that you have kids, it’s not so simple. Between waking up three times a night, staying up until your kids are asleep, and taking care of them every day . . . you hardly have time for yourselves, let alone each other.

And unfortunately, this lack of time is already affecting your relationship. Even if you don’t fight and life runs smoothly, the lack of time you’re spending together has an effect. It’s slowly digging a hole in the foundation of your marriage.

You know this. But you don’t have energy to go out, or money for a babysitter. So, what can you do to build your relationship?family-1437716

1. Use the weekends.

On Saturday afternoons, get the kids to take a nap. Then use their nap time to enjoy each other’s company. Or, take turns napping, while the kids are up and running (and wearing themselves out). Then get them to sleep early, and go to bed an hour after you normally would.

2. Take 10 minutes.

After the kids are in bed and the dishes are washed, sit down and have a cup of tea with your spouse. Turn off all electronics (that includes your favorite TV show), look into each other’s eyes, and truly *listen* to what he has to say.

3. Find an activity to do.

Baking, cooking, puzzles, board games, card games, laundry, and even cleaning are all good options. Really, you can choose any activity, as long as you do it together and both of you (at least somewhat) enjoy doing it. Watching TV doesn’t count, by the way. It’s not an *activity*. It’s a *passivity*. Once you have something you enjoy doing, you’ll find it’s easier to make time for it. The activity will keep your hands busy, reduce tension, and pave the way for great conversations.

4. Use a sibling.

Have a younger, single sibling? How about an older one with kids? Ask your sibs to take your kids for one night (and if they have kids, offer to trade nights), make a nice supper, and have an at-home date.

No one said relationships were easy. But in the long run, it’s worth it. Between your job, your kids, and everything else you do, the one thing you need most is each other. You need each other’s support. You need each other’s advice. You need each other’s presence and help.

Bonus: When you have a good relationship with your spouse, it’s easier to parent your kids.

What do you do to reconnect with your spouse? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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